X2: X-MEN UNITED (2003)
Director: Bryan Singer. Writers: Zak Penn, David Hayter, Bryan Singer,
Michael Dougherty, Dan Harris. Starring: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, Famke Janssen, James Marsden, Anna Paquin, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Brian Cox, Alan Cumming.


X-traordinary

by Jon Dunmore ©
4 Dec 2004

Unfortunate that X1 and X2 are now associated with these mutant movies, instead of their original references – Bell's X1 aircraft, piloted by Chuck Yeager, was the first documented to break the sound barrier in 1947 – never forget that, young-uns! Successive X-numbers denoted successive prototypes.

Has there ever been a more perfectly-cast movie than X2? So many characters fitting our preconceptions so absolutely – er - except for Cyclops, whose role is disconcertingly minimal, as it was in X-Men. Comicbook Cyclops Scott Summers was always the undisputed Leader of the group, exuding a patriarchal air amongst the very first x-youngsters to the present. Movie Cyclops James Marsden exudes all the presence of a day-player, or some guy in a bar in Miami in an episode of Girls Gone Wild.

Jean Grey's character is also abused somewhat. Firstly – that hair – not working, honey! Gone are comicbook Jean's cascading, volcanic-red, lava-locks (too 80s for this modern film? - but no worse than the Animé cartoon hairstyle she now sports); will it have to come down to an episode of VH1's 50 Awesomely Badder Hairdos to acknowledge this soccer mom abomination? And before we know it, Jean is gone. In a dramatic high-point, sexily holding back a wall of water while simultaneously powering up the X-Jet, she is sacrificed; a device which had to occur for Jean Grey's overwhelming Phoenix force to achieve illimitable psionic freedom (Hep me! Hep me! I'm sliding into geekery!...) In essence, in just two movies her character traverses an arc which took decades of comics to develop. Movies, unfortunately, do not have the luxury of comicbook shelf-life; plots that were developed over thousands of inter-connected comics must necessarily be composited into a few films, before the franchise goes to pot with new directors, unfamiliar and unlikeable cast and widened demographic mundanity. i.e. it always ends up G-rated, with scenes of soldiers crawling out of exploded military vehicles to prove that they are still alive.

The film unflinchingly supplies each major character with an interesting arc; an almost insurmountable undertaking, considering the plethora of varied roles and interlocking story lines. Director Singer and writers have done an incredible job, full tilt boogie – even the day-player Cyclops gets his moment to kick butt and take names - but is ultimately taken down by a chick – girly-man style!

Before I go on, I must clarify: this is an excellent movie, well-filmed, well-written, well-acted – and hey! Wolverine! 'nuff said! - but it is not without its illogicities.

An example: Rogue is sucked out of the disabled X-Jet and Nightcrawler bamfs out and retrieves her, bringing her back onboard safely – excellently illustrating his power's utility - BUT - well, he's back in the out-of-control X-Jet! - why not bamf to the GROUND INSTEAD, EINSTEIN? Matter of fact, why not individually bamf everyone down to the ground? This is the quandary that writers of superhero films must face: all these beings put together make up a formidable force and if they logically reasoned through any predicament, nothing could ultimately harm them. When Wolverine barks, "Don't we have any weapons in this heap?", the full portent of his question hits us when Storm's eyes go white – they're ALL Walking Weapons. Yet here is another mis-use of 'power' from that same scene: Couldn't Storm (who has just conjured more twisters than there were in the movie Twister) conjure a mighty updraft to float the X-Jet safely to earth?; couldn't Jean (who has just utilized her telekinesis to explode a missile) also float the jet down safely?; couldn't Iceman create a slide of ice?; the potential list of 'saves' goes on – yet, it's Airport '75 up in that converted Blackbird and Our Man Charlton ain't nowhere in sight. Instances like these really make you wonder whether you ARE on the Right Side, rooting for these insensate clowns, when the ostensible Bad Guy – Magneto – is the only one with any brains, balls or mutant clout to actually save the jet.

Admittedly, even in the comics, utilization of super-powers are oft-times foregone in favor of plot development.

The DVD commentaries infuriate with their naivete: cast and crew misuse and completely misunderstand the word 'evolution', continually saying 'evolve' where they simply should say 'develop', illustrating an utter ignorance of this world-shaping concept. 'Evolution' is a process by which mutated genes, if they enable an organism to better adapt to its environment, are 'selected' and passed on. Less-adaptable organisms are leached out of the pathway of Life vis a vis 'natural selection'. Not being an essay on 'evolution' per se, this skeletal description will have to suffice to illustrate the ingenuousness of terms like 'character evolution'.

The DVD also bludgeons viewers with the unsubtle 'message' of tolerance. As if the raison d'etre of this movie IS to promote tolerance and NOT to make sinful amounts of exploitative cash. By exploiting a 'minority' existing in fantasy, they audaciously attach this analogy to world problems, and then pretend they care. The fact that this movie issues from one of the most insular, in-tolerant places on earth – Hollywood – makes that 'message' all the more hypocritical and straight-up shameless prevarication.

The X-Men's 'message' has nothing to do with why this film was made - the current rash of superhero movies is not being voraciously consumed faster than they can be made because audiences wish to imbue themselves with spiritual elevation; no, superhero-mania is the latest fad in a long line of film fads – remember all those 'war' movies after WWII?; all the 'westerns' of the forties through sixties; the 'cop' films of the seventies; 'slasher' films of the eighties; the genres of 'baseball', 'family', 'romantic comedies', et al. 'Superhero' films now join the carousel of bankable corporate products – because the generation who grew up enamored with comics is now at an age where they are making the major business decisions in the world. So please – spare us the faux-philanthropy and get on with entertaining us for our cash.


END



This review on the Internet Movie Database.


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