POLITICAL COMMENTARY: President Barack Obama, 2008
Raising Lazarus America from the grave, history's son, Barack Obama, has first given us emotional resurrection. Feel good about being American once more. Shuck off the hate. Meanwhile, America holds its breath that Lame Duck Number 43 will relinquish the Oval Egg without pulling any dirty ducky tricks, exiting as ignobly as he entered...
"Did you see Obama's news conference? Nice to see adults back in politics. The White House press corp - they were ecstatic - it's been years since they've heard a complete sentence..."
- Bill Maher, Real Time, Nov 7, 08.
1619: A Dutch man-of-war ship known as "The Black Mayflower" lands near Jamestown with 20 "Negroes" - the first documented slaves on American soil.
1800: The White House is completed, built with the blood, sweat and tears of slaves.
1862: The Emancipation Proclamation is slammed down by Abe Lincoln, kick-starting the abolishment of slavery.
1968: Robert F. Kennedy presciently observes:
"In the next 40 years, a Negro can achieve the same position as my brother has." Exactly forty years later...
2008: A Hawaiian man of peace known as "The Black Jesus" lands the White House.
An elated Keith Olbermann stentorian snarls at his World's Worst on November 5, 2008: William Kristol, Rush Limbaugh and Bill-o the Klown, "Waitaminute! What's the difference what you said? You don't matter any more!"
An African-American caller on the Tom Leykis radio show effused: "We've got no beef with white people now, cos they helped us get a black president!" Which is true. 61% of the vote came from whites; if Obama's votes were exclusively black votes, there'd be a racist douchebag in the White House right now. Other than George W. Bush. (It's unfortunate the news programs can't stop talking about "racial" votes, even whilst claiming Obama's election proves racism is dying, in the process keeping it alive by talking about it. You wanna know if your country is still racist? Look at your legal forms - as long as there are check-boxes marked "race," there's still a Deep South in your closet.)
French President Nicolas Sarkozy: "...the American people have chosen change, openness and optimism"; Iran's Ahmadinejad sent congrats, Russia's Medvedev, ditto; every country and leader in the world had elected Barack Obama long before polls closed on November 4. In an undisclosed cave somewhere in Pakistan, Osama bin Laden is probably cracking a bottle of terrorist bubbly and laffing his ass off.
Barack Obama does not end his speeches traditionally ("May God bless America"); he is the first president to say, "May God bless the United States of America."
Y'know... this man has made me proud to be American - and I'm not even American!
Obama is such a Uniter of Worlds, he is even considering allowing Judas Lieberman back into the Democratic fold. (I say spear-kill that traitor, or at least give him an office near the toilet.) Now Obama contemplates nasty-pants Hillary as potential Secretary of State. (I say for poetic justice, tell her the news by waking her with a three a.m. phone call.) Then Klansman McCain hobbles back on the scene, "meeting" with Obama next week. (I say burn a cross on his lawn to remind him who the Massa is now.)
A heady rush of
absolution engulfs our constricted chests. All the damaging hatred and vitriol towards the Ku Bush Klan gradually washes away in the wake of Obama's peaceful mien... I've been railing against the harlot Bush for the past few years NOT because he's Republican, NOT because he's in government - because he's a belligerent, dangerous idiot who refuses to educate himself; no curiosity, no learning, no regrets. And enabled, petulant, spoiled-rich dada's-boy idiots shouldn't be tolerated in the most powerful job on Earth. But as the Obama presidency assumes its world-shaking reality, I feel a liberation, a cleansing, a forgiveness--
[sound of needle-scratch off a record]
Until that president whose approval numbers can go no lower without the villagers storming the Bastille and dragging him to the gallows on his snake-belly tried to speak in public on November 13, 2008, giving a State of the Economy address. To call him an ass-klown is an insult to ass-klowns. Shoulda just kept his Cro-Magnon mouth shut...
As if there was any relevancy to anything he was lying about; as if his speechmakers wrote anything worth remembering past January 20, 2009, or anything which would have the slightest effect on the actual economy; vainly trying to absolve his government of blame, while calling for aggressive regulation, (as if he didn't just have eight years to implement regulation, rather, spending the time DE-regulating, or golfing, or shredding the Constitution, or neglecting veterans, or making monkey faces, or stop-lossing soldiers because if he didn't get them killed the first time over, he was gonna get it done the second... or third... or fourth... or--); talking about "social dignity" in that big-hat Texan accent when he was the one who pardoned the weasel, Lewis Libby, yet allowed 152 people to die on death row when he was Governor of Texas without examining one single pardon request.
George W. Death seems oblivious as to why he has been crowned Worst President in American History; oblivious as to why he is the mirror image of Obama in approval ratings - 22% to Obama's 76%.
In his first CNN interview since the election, when asked his regrets, Bush waggles his head to a rehearsed, vetted answer. Not only does he totally fail to convey a sense of actual regret, he seems amused by the fact that these are "regrets" only according to polling estimations rather than because he actually harmed the nation through his mendacity, impulsiveness and uninformed decision-making.
President Bush: "I Regret" Mission Accomplished Sign
I can't put it any better than "dibwatches" on YouTube: "The most un-American, anti-American, un-Christian, unethical, immoral President regrets nothing and is still a liar even in expressing his regrets, he should be in jail for outting [sic] a CIA agent, which is treason, which he did to support his original lie for invading Iraq, politizing [sic] an entire branch of the US government, being incompetent regarding the economy and everything else he pretended to be in charge of, go back to TX and choke on a pretzel."
Through Dubya's tearful goodbye ("I will be honored to stand with you at the finish line"), I still see the foul, callous, spineless gimp felon who played golf while Iraq burned, who ate cake while New Orleans drowned, who read children's stories while Twin Towers fell, who spread terrorism throughout the world and ran America's credibility into an open grave. Vestiges of his chilling agenda still show - he makes a press announcement that he will cooperate in a smooth transition of power, but he states his intent publicly not simply because it is protocol, but because we all know that in his black rectum heart he would rather call a national emergency, suspend the Constitution, disqualify the election results and illegally wrest the presidency away from the uppity Harvard lawyer and give it to his good ole boy, senile Klansman and Grand Poop Dragon, McCain.
As you read this, with 65 days to go before the end of his lame duckidency, Bush is trying to rush through 90 new regulations. While leaving all the large-scale messes to fall into the lap of his successor, Dubya rains down tiny pieces of Un-American imperial tyranny as a last-gasp effort to make more political mess and ensure his legacy will die the gurgling death it deserves. This ex-President is so unpopular, he can't even score a book deal! Publishers have advised him to wait until his approval rating rises into the "human" category again.
Remember how all the stories suddenly surfaced about Sarah Palin's stupidities after she lost? There's an eight-year backlog on Bush. International leaders are lining up ready to burst as the date draws near for ass-klown to shuffle off the world stage. Already, foreign leaders use George W. Bush as an example of how NOT to act. November 2008, Sarkozy talked Putin out of military action by saying, "Do you want to end up like Bush?"...
Ironic they call Obama "black Jesus" when George W. Bush is the one gonna get crucified.
"...No more broken promises
No more call to war
Unless it's love and peace that we're really fighting for
We can destroy hunger
We can conquer hate
Put down the arms and raise your voice
We're joining hands today.
Oh I was looking for a song to sing
I searched for a leader
But the leader was me
We were looking for the world to change
We can be heroes
Just go on and say...
...If you hear this message, wherever you stand
I'm calling every woman, calling every man
We're the generation
We can't afford to wait
The future started yesterday and we're already late."