POLITICAL COMMENTARY: President Barack Obama, 2008
The Democrats landslide to victory in November 2008, not only with the presidential post, but with Senate races across the re-united United States. From somewhere under the rubble, the backbiting Republicans start the scapegoating, backpedaling and prosthetic limb-sniffing.
"Senior citizen and woman beaten by black man"
- Bill Maher, Real Time, Nov 7, 08.
Republican vice presidential nominee, she-pig Sarah Palin - under the bus, 150K wardrobe and all; back in Alaska, watching Russia from her house, keeping America safe from Putin - YET - unable to stop flapping her yap to the press, granting "exclusive" interviews to everyone from orgasm-free battleaxe Greta van Susteren to tribal elder Larry King; actually harboring deluded aspirations for the 2012 White House. (Against the Black Jesus? Her stupidity really does know no bounds.) Well, with her legs bared and hair mussed like she's just been spanked in the back of the limo, it might just work - if not for the fact that she'll be forgotten in three months... oh, and the fact that she has the intellect of a parking attendant.
In throwing her under the square wheels of the Straight Poop Express, John McCain and his spineless cronies still refuse to admit it was their fault someone as unqualified as Palin got on the ticket in the first place; still refuse to acknowledge they made the biggest national blunder since Bush Snr. pumped his wife full of the seed that would gestate into Bush Jnr. Instead, "honorable" McCain scapegoats Sarah Palin by letting his sniveling lowlife low-level aides do it anonymously. Real Hero.
As for "hero" McCain - well, if the water-carriers repeat ad nauseam that the economic collapse was responsible for him losing the election, they believe they'll absolve the Republicans for actually CAUSING the economic collapse in the first place! Because the economic collapse is a result of irresponsible Republican deregulation policies. By making it seem like the collapse was an OUTSIDE element that ruined McCain's plans, they work their biggest distraction since letting dunderhead Joe the Plumber talk foreign policy. The truth is: McCain did lose due to the collapse - because the voting public discerned he was partly to BLAME for it!
Even if McCain was completely blameless, during the crisis, the "steady hand on the tiller" that he claimed America needed... was OBAMA'S, while Seadog McCain and his Parrot Palin went lurching from one side of the deck to the other, making everyone seasick.
Joe the Plumber (exposed through the very Free Speech he lauded, by the media uncovering he had no plumbing license and even less prospects as a plumber of much worth) had to relinquish his delusions of "buying a business worth $280,000" and return to exposing his butt-crack under sinks for cash, after failed bids at a redneck recording contract (I think they call it a "country and western" recording contract in some circles) and a book deal (amazing that he believes he can write when he has yet to learn how to read). Seems no one's too interested in JTP now he's no longer pallin' around with a hot leg MILF.
Karl Rove, head spinning on that doughy lardass lump he calls a body, went back to drinking devil's sperm in his crawlspace under the White House.
Dugong Rush Limbaugh got so fat and stupid that the flubber of skin surrounding his cock made it impossible for Sean Hannity to continue sucking on it.
As they would soon be replacing him, Darth Cheney was forced to show the Bidens around his dungeon on Nov 13, 2008. All reports indicate he has already removed his iron maidens and mopped the blood and flesh off the floors, yet still wore his nipple-rings for old times' sake. No truth to the rumor that Joe Biden and his wife, Jill, were never heard from again.
In an alternate future, it would have been interesting to see a McCain-Palin victory just to prove to the rednecks how ape-tilt their bet was. Remember, "Read my lips - no new taxes."? Thanks for the blatant lie, father of the world's greatest terrorist.
McCain's mind-set gave him away at every plodding step. From "my fellow prisoners" (which John Cleese cites as the funniest moment in the campaign) to his concession speech: "Today, I was a candidate for the highest office in the country I love so much, and tonight, I remain her servant." Hey Dictator, even if you WON, you'd still be her servant! You'd serve her people. McCain believes that if he were president, he'd do exactly as he damn well pleased, like his predecessors; like what he'd like to do to Sarah Palin's Eskimo Pie.
But while everyone is sighing as if all their christmases and happy endings have come at once, while no one is looking, George W. Death has 67 days left on his Lame Duck Walk. Only Keith Olbermann (Countdown) and Rachel Maddow (The Rachel Maddow Show) seem to be surveilling Bush on his dangerous last legs (as he tries to push through legislation that he hopes everyone is too dizzy to notice), while everyone else sheds an unwarranted tear for this most unpatriotic of thugs. While America falls through the cracks of the limbo transition, Dubya, though we think he's got the towel around the neck and in the locker room (as Chris Matthews evokes), is not planning to go gentle into that good night...
Real Time with Bill Maher- In Memoriam: Farewell Douchebags