Evolution vs. Creationism
New Euphemisms: Fooling Only The Fools Themselves|
two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity - and I'm not sure about
the universe." -
first time I heard the words "intelligent design," I thought it was
a euphemism - however misapplied - for Evolution.
it has nothing to do with Evolution. And it has nothing to do with intelligence.
design" is merely a re-rendering of the term "Creationism" to keep
apace with the changing aspect of public sophistication. The mightier-than-thou
Creationists (Intelligent Designists / Religionists / Creation Scientists - call
them what you will, but read as "Fundamentalist Christians") fawn to
the very Method which they belittle - the Scientific Method (which retains its
forward momentum by questioning and rejuvenating its precepts to keep abreast
of modernaires, albeit more logically than Creationists.). Are the Creationists
as obtuse as we'd like to think they are, or do they simply refuse to acknowledge
that the New Terminology (obviously an attempt at diminishing the fanatical-sounding
"religious" element) in no way reconciles faith-driven religiosity with
verifiable science? "Creationism" is (or was, until the New Marketing
paradigm) a belief system holding that everything in the universe was created
by divine fiat. "Intelligent Design" now minutely augments that stance
by specifying that the creator of the universe was "an intelligent being."
(That oughta hold them Scientist Fellas for awhile
But no one's
I was writing this article, I had to question why I was writing it at all. How
can anything thought-provoking possibly be said about an issue which has been
open like a suppurating wound since Charles
Darwin published the touchstone for Evolutionary precepts The
Origin of Species in 1859? And how can there be intelligent debate
between a discipline which exalts a dynamic process of postulation, experiment,
discovery and self-correction, and a close-minded faction who petulantly claims
a proprietary stance simply because their invisible leader in the sky says
2004, eight of twenty-five appointees to a Kansas state education board proposed
revisions to their science curriculum, "to make clear that Evolution is a
theory and not a fact" (which is true - but a rigorously defined theory,
with incontrovertible evidence to support it, as opposed to a divine ordinance
that fishes and birds magically "appeared" on the planet) and, amongst
other proposals against Evolution, had the gall to maintain "that scientific
knowledge can be used for good and evil" (also absolutely correct - and the Spanish Inquisition
was a beneficent adjunct of the Roman Catholic Church, whose peaceful methods
of suppressing heresy and converting Muslims and Jews to Christianity included
maidens and hot pokers through eye sockets and rectums). Though the final
fizzle of this debate seemed to be the Supreme Court's 1987 decision, voiding
the last remaining Louisiana
Creationist statute (calling it "a sham designed to make public schools
espouse religion, in violation of America's separation of church and state"),
instances like Kansas - which has blossomed to the courtroom stage - are a sordid
indication that Creationism is once again rearing its tentacles of misapplied
The fact that this spurious topic has gained credence at
all comes as no surprise in a United States that is fast becoming deficient in
common sense and clear thinking, with the overwhelming rash of frivolous lawsuits
not even regarded as frivolous anymore, a dying Terry Schiavo suddenly very lively
political meat, a felon fiancé cutely euphemized as a "runaway bride,"
Paris Hilton role-modeling for 14-year-old latent streetwalkers, George Lucas
lauded as a film-making genius, and a war with Iraq that no one can find any legitimate
Add Creationism to that list and it looks almost sane
next to a Governator or a Wacko Jacko.
find ourselves once again girding our loins in the manner of lawyer Clarence Darrow
at the Scopes Monkey Trial of 1925, whose "purpose of preventing bigots and
ignoramuses from controlling the education system in the United States" (his
words to prosecutor William Jennings Bryan) is as imperative now as it was then,
in this seemingly stalemated duel between Good and Evil - Science versus Religion.
fence separates Science and Religion - and no one gets across; not even
those scientists who profess a belief in a god, nor those priests who embrace
Evolution. (My guess is that those scientists need to retain their funding and
the priests use Evolution as yet another facet to laud their god's powers, not
really grasping that this biological process negates the need for a god's
powers.) In an ironic simulacrum of the Evolutionary (phylogenetic) "tree
of life," humans are born to either side of that fence and, like organisms
which diverged at the genus level, they have grown too far apart genetically to
be compatible and cannot mate to produce a conciliatory offspring which would
unite the branches once more. We're all gonna die on our respective sides
of the fence, screaming and posturing through the gaps in the paling.
for the edification of only those intelligentsia sharing my greener grass
on this side of the unbreachable bulwark, this is my contribution - however insubstantial
when weighed against overwhelming historical canon - to the cause for Science,
Evolution and Free Thinking; a cause which calls for redesigning Intelligence.
Read The Dunmore's
abridged version of this article, with up-to-date developments in Kansas and Dover:
"Education Takes A
Hit And Myth."
Time Magazine's "Man of the Century" and popularizer
of the just-got-outa-bed 'do.
His mind scared adults and his face scared
NOBODY expects The Spanish Inquisition!...
Takes a Hit and Myth|
do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction."
- Blaise Pascal, philosopher,
In a society which has conquered gonorrhea, split the atom, identified deoxyribonucleic
acid, touched the Moon, gleaned the wonders of galaxies in collision, and deployed
mechanical envoys that have attained
the termination shock of our solar system, President George
W. Bush, in his now customary quasi-conscious state of constant befuddlement
(who cannot seem to assimilate the simple English passage in the American Constitution
of church and state"), opined that Intelligent Design should be taught
in schools (in his quest to rewrite prehistory in his own simplistic, dogmatic
colloquialism) and fundamentalists (spearheaded by the incomparably misnomered
"religious right"), having steadily gained power since the morbid election
of this jejune President, have blighted the school systems in dozens of U.S. states
by rallying behind this Neanderthal suggestion.
dozens of states actually consider including Intelligent Design in their curricula
as an alternative to Evolution, Jack O' Connell, California State Superintendent
of Public Instruction was forced to make
a statement in September 2005, decrying this idiocy: "I'd fight tooth
and nail to protect our high academic standards and to ensure sound science is
protected in our classrooms."
Randy Thomasson, president of Campaign
for Children and Families, cites "academic honesty" (!) as his reasons
for including Intelligent Design in school curriculums: "To keep it out is
anti-education. You can't just tell children that they come from monkeys and to
forget all about any other theory for how life began."
course, the bathos and irony in the C-student Bush espousing on "education"
and "exposing people to different ideas" should probably be scripted
into new episodes of That's
My Bush (the irreverent 2001 sitcom spoof of the Presidency, axed post-9/11
for obvious reasons), not only for the hilarity of one of the most ignorant of
Presidents espousing these ideals, but for the fact that those ideals are belied
by Bush's actual education
funding cutbacks (whilst paying lip service to his administration's hypocritical
No Child Left Behind Act).
- the majority being unlearned and unwilling-to-learn Christians (Hi, Dubya!)
- insist on promulgating only their version of "creation theory"
- the creation myth extolled in the King James Version of the Bible. The more
reasonable and learned of the Intelligent-Designists lucidly and smarmily advocate
that the Bible need not be taken literally (acceding to grudging admissions that
"creation" may have taken millions of years rather than 6 days, and
that maybe some of the tall tales were "metaphorical"), yet they freak
their reasoning and educated scientific rebuttals with the superstitious rationale
intrinsic in a belief of divine intervention in the first place! It is astounding
to think that adults who understand the biology behind sexual intercourse can
believe that a snake spoke to a naked lady in a garden somewhere in Iraq in 4000
BC. The fact that most Christians are unaware that the snake actually walked on
all fours whilst he was tempting their great-great-great-great-great grandmother
is just one indication that they are too incognizant of their own handbook to
even be considered as equals in an intellectual mêlée which is foundationed
on absorbing and corroborating almost insurmountable reams of factual data.
(Genesis 3:14: "Because you have done this, you are cursed above all beasts,
and above every animal of the field. You shall go on your belly
infers that, up to that point, the walking, talking snake must have originally
resembled an animal somewhat like Scooby Doo.)
Duffy, President of United Teachers Los Angeles laments, "the ultra conservative religious right
feel they can rewrite
all the facts of Evolution and complete their agenda of having Creationism taught
along with Evolution."
this is where Creationists shoot themselves in the foot.
whining for their version of Creation to be instigated as curriculum, Creationists
studiously ignore the blunt fact that the Creation Myth - as a cultural phenomenon
- has been around since long before that coterie of duplicitous priests and drunken
yahoos colluded in penning the Bible to generate status and bloodied wealth for
themselves. Which means, even before those accredited authors (prophet Isaiah,
priest Ezra, tax collector Matthew, shepherd Moses, deity God, et al) or
the Septuagint Greek translation from
Jewish scripture, or the 5th century Latin
Vulgate translation from Hebrew to Latin, or any of a thousand translation
permutations or "original" Dead
Sea Scrolls documents, creation tales and (by association) every single fable
related in the current King James Compendium of Fairy Tales can be discerned in
ancient texts (from Egyptian, Sumerian, Akkadian, Babylonian and Assyrian sources),
which pre-date even rudimentary versions of the Bible by millennia. (Every ancient
culture had its Great
Flood, its virgin birth,
if, as the Creationists claim, their true concern lies in rendering "equal
time" for other theories of Humankind's origins, why not grant - or, as is
their wont, irrationally force and politically badger - Equal Time for the tales
of the Quiché
Mayan Popol Vuh, or the P'an-Ku
cosmic egg, or the Egyptian
Atum - and while we're being so munificent, why the hell not throw into the
mélange the Church of the Flying Spaghetti
Monster? All but the last have been venerated since before the Bible was a
glint in some nullifidian priest's eye - and, to use the Creationist's primo
argument against them - who is to say that the Flying Spaghetti Monster did not
will it that way?
The French Michael Bolton - with brains.
The case for
most ironic cut of all: from That's My Bush! to DC 9/11: Time of Crisis.
A rare sighting
of the Flying Spaghetti Monster... believe!
We know what
Want more Bush-Bashing?
Review by Poffy The Cucumber.
Says "Unlearn", Creationists Say "Okay!"|
means not wanting to know what is true." - Nietzsche,
Twilight of the Idols.
The irony which these New Inquisitionists seem to miss is that in lobbying for
ostensibly more education, in a system which is so understaffed and insufficiently
funded that it is currently pimping children into the American population with
already-questionable education levels, the groundless Creationism agenda will
actually serve to make children less educated. Because Creationism is a
"belief system." It is not a testable theory, nor is it based on any
factual analyses. Any old poop can be espoused within the context of this unprovable
and smugly unverified idiom. How could any school teach that humans are biologically
generated via sexual pairing of gametes (whilst providing all the necessary biological
evidence to corroborate the fact) and in the next breath, sanctimoniously intone
that a human can be brought forth from dust (proof being a verse in a book supposedly
authored by an invisible guy who created humans as nudists, until they disobeyed
Educational retardation, lauded to new heights!
it is a symptom of the current low standard of education that the Intelligent
Design furor is in debate at all. Eschewing any kind of politically-correct waffling,
would a truly "educated" society spawn such bovine, antagonistic, hypocritical,
irrational thugs as Creationists? Intelligent Design is a euphemism all right
- for Ku Klux Klan close-mindedness, block-headed McCarthyism, Inquisition-style
psychological brutality, Machiavellian unscrupulousness and pedestrian medievalism.
about this point during one of my hot-winded tirades, sitting around a loud table
at a cheap restaurant, someone usually pipes up: "No, but tell us what you really think
doggedly refuse to apprehend what the term "Scientific
Method" connotes: Science never claims absolute truths, but a constant
testing of plastic theories; "provisional truth," as it were. Discounting
the few individuals in the science community who muddle the Method for personal
or political gain, the Scientific Ideal welcomes dissent and double-checking
of experiments, in the name of acquiring verification of postulations. Wrong theories
are amended or simply discarded; new data is constantly replacing old, adding
to the collective knowledge of humankind. Whereas, with religious dogma, intellectual
inquiry is actually frowned upon, because it unveils how flimsy, ignorant, contradictory
and unholy Holy Writ is. (Let me amend that to "true" intellectual inquiry
- inundation with specious
"studies" of the Bible performed by biased Fundamentalists "imbued
with the Holy Spirit" is no basis for ratification of the Bible's veracity.)
Religionists claim they "search for Truth," yet in their mulish resistance
to any elements which may tilt their blind faith, they move not one jot forward
in the quest for real "truth" - whatever that may be.
Religionists' greatest shortcoming is that, though they lack a prescribed Method
or System to back up their pontificating and proselytizing, they refuse to establish or set up a credible Method by which to qualify their outrageous dogma. In The
Beginning, their "Intelligent Designer" created an aesthetic predicated
on vacant air and unfulfilled promises, circular reasoning and petulant posturing.
And lo, it remains so to this day.
- through its errors - advances. Religion - through its faith - stagnates.
Is Truth; Truth, Media: The Gospel According to Man The Writer|
"When you believe in things that you don't understand
/ Then you suffer / Superstition ain't the way
" - Stevie Wonder, Superstition
Religionists, "faith" means adhering to their gospel, and the gospel
- so they tell us - is unequivocally true! That's why it's called The Gospel.
our vaunted Scientific Method to the word "gospel," we discover - quite
easily, as the case may be, in this internet age - that "gospel" comes
from the Greek evangelion (reward for bringing good news), by way of Latin
bona adnuntiatio (having the same meaning as the Greek translation), by
way of Old English godspel (meaning simply "good talk/ story/ message/
well and good - but what this means is that the word "gospel" did not
arrive on Earth through divine bequeathal. It is simply a bastardization of previous
concepts (no derogation intended, as every single word of ours is etymologically
linked with ancient civilizations). And if "gospel" is not divine, it
is merely a word popularized by simple peoples who regarded the main, vain apostles'
writings (Mathew, Mark, Luke and John), as "good messages," not necessarily
"truth." Yet it was not enough for "gospel" to over-arch merely
the King James Bible; it has transcended into the vernacular, and insinuated itself
into all religions, as a word tantamount to infallible truth - when all it is
really referencing is an anthology of philosophies articulated and documented
by fallible humans!
is "Gospel" truly then? Mantra, verse, fable and philosophy all penned
by primitive authors who boasted the same brainpower and biases and diseases and
desires of every other human; the same irrational fear of the unknown and the
same tilting at knowledge - yet, who had not the benefit of thousands of years
of collective education and technological advancement, making their irrational
fears all the more tangible and their knowledge all the more questionable. Thus
was it written. Thus did it come to us - not from "The Man," but from
is another all-too-human aspect misrepresented as divine.
What would a treatise on Evolution be without the perfunctory dinosaur picture?
"Hmm, I'll need
a whore and some murders to keep the Second Act snappy..."
Mistrial: The Search For Intelligent Life On Earth|
that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind; And the foolish shall be
servant to the wise of heart. - Proverbs 11:29
an historical perspective on this beast, 1925's watershed Scopes
Monkey Trial undoubtedly brought the Great Debate of Science Versus Religion
vis a vis Evolution Versus Creation into sharper focus in the public domain.
In an attempt to test the limits of the newly-instated, controversial Butler Act
(March 1925, "
prohibiting the teaching of the Evolution Theory in all
the Universities, Normals and all other public schools of Tennessee
provide penalties for the violations thereof
"), the American Civil
Liberties Union proposed a "willing scapegoat" to undergo prosecution.
Young Dayton, Tennessee schoolteacher John T. Scopes volunteered for the task
and was duly arrested for his Evolutionary biology lessons.
represent Scopes, renowned agnostic and civil libertarian, Clarence
Darrow, stepped out of semi-retirement, not least because the prosecuting
attorney was three-time presidential candidate and Fundamentalist demagogue, William
Jennings Bryan. Though Scopes lost the case (after the now legendary battle
of wills between Darrow and Bryan), the trial's precedent paved the way for like-minded
dissenters of statute stupidity. Not only were individuals speaking out and winning
against the anti-Evolution statutes (Gary L. Scott against Tennessee in 1967,
Susan Epperson against
Arkansas in 1968), courts in every state and at every level gradually flensed
anti-Evolution laws from the legislature.
on the fracas of the Scopes Trial, Stanley Kramer's 1960 film, Inherit
The Wind (inspired by Jerome Lawrence's and Robert E. Lee's 1955 play
of the same name), though clearly on the side of the Evolutionists (by exaggerating
the portrayal of Creationists as blathering, Bible-bent fanatics), does not provide
a definitive clarification of Evolution per se. By 1960, a century after
publication of The Origin Of Species, the word "Evolution" had
come to represent intellectualism, rather than being understood as the
world-girdling bio-environmental process that it actually is (involving, amongst
other factors, genetics
and mutation, predator-to-prey
strategies and environmental
though I am loathe to admit it, by their inaction, this is where the Evolutionists
shoot themselves in the foot.
much misinformed media has been allowed to filter into the public domain by biologists,
paleontologists and their ilk, the greatest misconception about Evolution being
the saw that "man evolved from apes." He did not, but rather from an
"ape-like" creature, which was a markedly different animal from the
feces-flinging Pan troglodytes abounding in our modern zoos. Ridding the
media of the false impression that we are overdeveloped chimpanzees will work
greatly towards diminishing the rancor that elitist Religionists direct towards
the concept of Evolution. Randy Thomasson (above), no doubt an intelligent enough
human when not being questioned about imaginary fluff like angels and miracles,
asserts that children are being taught that they "come from monkeys"
- a patently untrue statement (if one is truly speaking of Evolutionary study)
which has been erroneously disseminated via reputable media sources, The Daily
News and many online sites. But - there it is. And not even a wrist-slap in
the process of Evolution has been allowed to become too compressed, too simplistic.
An example of this abbreviated thinking, from Inherit The Wind, shows a
schoolboy testifying as to what he believes Evolution is, blathering as simplistically
as the Biblers, stating that "the earth was too hot for any kind of life,
then it cooled off a mite and cells 'n things began to grow
little bugs in
the water; then the little bugs got to be bigger bugs, 'n sprouted legs and crawled
up on the land
" If this is the extent to which Evolution is perceived
by the Great Unwashed, it is no wonder that the Creationists object so vehemently
to its being taught. Even the simplest formal explanation of Evolution is not
attempted during the movie (with "experts" being denied their testimony),
so one grasps no deeper concept than the ramblings of that schoolboy. Hoping for
viewers' a priori knowledge is folly on the film-makers' part, as the finished
film is all the legacy that Evolution has to wield in the end. And that hick schoolboy
more than likely set back the struggle a few decades.
Origin Of Species is a hard slog for modern readers, versed as we are with
the practice of having everything précised for us by the media and pop
literature; being the seminal expository work that it was, Origin is more
a cornerstone curiosity, rather than a fully-developed thesis. Perusing the works
of modern scientists who have built cogently upon the ramifications of Darwin's
theorems is arguably more enlightening. Paleontologist Stephen
Jay Gould, sociobiologist E.O.
Wilson, or Evolutionary biologist Richard
Dawkins, all popularizers of Evolutionary esoterica (analogous to the late,
legendary Carl Sagan's popularization
of astronomy and physics), would equip the layperson with a more than cursory
grasp of Evolution's tenets. (Note that all these great thinkers actually harbor
opposing viewpoints on the intricacies of Evolution, so a broad scope of the topic
will be gleaned by reading selections from all three.)
Enjoy. There will
be an exam.
Big Bang and The Big Banging: Science versus Sexology.|
cannot be equated with mental blankness; rather, objectivity resides in recognizing
your preferences and then subjecting them to especially harsh scrutiny - and also
in a willingness to revise or abandon your theories when the tests fail (as they
usually do)." - Stephen Jay Gould, paleontologist.
Bang is Creation. Yet its existence infuriates Creationists, who prove too
lazy to apprise themselves of the basic physics precepts that systematizes human
understanding of the universe's origin. (Much easier to grasp "Let there
be light.") Astronomers and physicists arrived at the Big Bang concept not
through mindless assumption, rhetoric or prayer, but by observing that every visible
galaxy is speeding away from the earth at an exponential rate (known as the Hubble
Constant) and by monitoring the decay rate of the Cosmic
Microwave Background radiation (with which the universe is aglow, a remnant
of some vastly energetic epoch). In assessing the speeds and decay rates of these
two aspects, and working backwards from these calculations, it is inevitable to
arrive at a point in space and time when all matter was compressed into a "singularity,"
and all radiation/energy was latent. That point - the Big Bang - was approximately
13 to 15 billion years ago. It was not an "explosion," but an "expansion"
- which is still expanding, at an incomprehensible rate - creating the
Universe which we perceive around us.
there are obvious gaps in the logic (such as where the "singularity"
came from in the first place) the Scientific Method gives us a bedrock upon which
to base further discoveries - to either extend on the theory or discard it. Most
humans - not just Religionists - have a problem with this more reasonable version
of a "creation theory" due to the fact that finite minds (existing on
a time-scale of decades) cannot comprehend a time before there was "measurable"
time, or a space where "space" itself did not exist. In sooth, we ultimately
end up placing "faith" in science to psychologically gain a handle on
unimaginable concepts - but that "faith" was arrived at by applying
a methodology that is unquestionably objective and responsive to improvement.
Social critic, H.L. Mencken (1880-1956), waxing Sagan-esque, noted that "To
argue that gaps in knowledge which will confront the seeker must be filled, not
by patient inquiry, but by intuition or revelation, is simply to give ignorance
a gratuitous and preposterous dignity."
before Big Bang theory, Creationist maven Bishop
James Ussher, of Ireland, working backwards through ancient calendars and
the Bible, and calculating solar and lunar cycles, as well as ages of biblical
characters and their "begatting," popularized what was believed to be
a credible age of the earth - in essence, he arrived at the date of Creation (Sunday
23 October, 4004 BC) by the amount of Big Banging that a considerable amount
of biblical verses are occupied with. We applaud him for utilizing Scientific
Method - even if his "facts" were obtained from a great deal of "surmising"
or originated with a human-penned tome with no verification and outrageously long
life-spans (Adam lived to 900, Noah to 950!). His ultimate failing was not that
his conclusions were wrong, but that he then reneged on further objective methodology
and closed his mind to any testing of his conclusions - as did the people of his
day - thenceforward basing his postulations on "faith" for eternity.
cite the above examples of arriving at differing answers to the same question,
to illustrate that there is nothing wrong whatsoever in arriving at inexplicable
"facts" or false answers; the key to understanding is to be unafraid
to pose more questions. And to have the fortitude to follow where the answers
simply stop inquiring is to atrophy that super-computer in our heads that has
attained a level of consciousness supposedly greater than that of other contemporary
species extant today - and the last thing anyone wants is to be compared to an
First Confrontation, The Final Word|
World is my Fatherland, Science is my Religion" - Christiaan
Huygens, mathematician, physicist.
the above article, we've scuttled back and forth through time, from 1925's kangaroo
monkey court, to 1960's sincere-yet-imperfect film; from Bishop Ussher's 1600s
backward-thinking to Kansas's 2004 backpedaling; from modern heroes (Carl Sagan)
to modern deities (the Flying Spaghetti Monster); from the origins of our Universe
(the Big Bang), to the very mouth of madness (George Bush)
end our journey (stop that cheering in back!) at the exact point when Evolution
was loosed out the gate to smash headlong into Creationist dogma: the 1860 meeting
of the British Association for the Advancement of Science, in Oxford. The Origin
Of Species had been published just a few months prior
the funk of insurrection
fogging the genteel air
to merely one branch on a hairy-backed tree, London intelligentsia and Victorian
high-society railed zealously against Darwin's humbling implications. It was unthinkable
that a "gentleman's" genealogy be sullied by linkage to "lower"
animals. (Queen Victoria's England was instrumental in imbuing Evolution with
a fallacious facility: that of "conscious" molder of destiny. Evolution
is amoral and non-directional, yet, in order to abide the theory at all, British
nobility ultimately placed Mankind in the proprietary position on the Tree Of
Life - as an organism that Evolution was somehow striving towards producing. This
was to become yet another bane to Evolutionists who not only had to contend with
Creationists and their ilk, but were required to deny their own supporters their
was in this stiff-collared, stuffed-shirt mise-en-scène of raised pinkies
and appropriate luncheon aperitifs that a young Thomas
Henry Huxley (who would later become known as "Darwin's Bulldog")
would take to task the imposing Bishop of Oxford, Samuel
Wilberforce, who broadcast disdainfully his intentions to "smash Darwin's
theories" at that meeting.
this first public airing of Evolution's laundry, Bishop Wilberforce did indeed
savagely lambaste Darwin, Huxley and the theories espoused in Origin, concluding
his diatribe (so the Legend goes) by turning to Huxley and inquiring as to whether
it was through his grandfather or his grandmother that he claimed descent from
as innocently amusing as this may sound in the year of our Intelligent Lord 2005,
one must remember that these were truly "Victorian" times (the
actual Queen Victoria had been enthroned for 23 years at that juncture) and public etiquette was a notion
more dear to an Englishman's heart than public flaunting of her pornographic,
wastrel life could ever be to Paris Hilton. Variants of the tale and the quote
abound, another version hitting closer to the heart of Wilberforce's gaffe: "If
anyone were to be willing to trace his descent through an ape to his grandfather,
would he be willing to trace his descent similarly on the side of his grandmother?"
It was the 1800's version of, "Your mama!"
had unwittingly overstepped protocol and impugned not only his good standing as
a "gentleman," but degraded women and stooped to "unscientific"
barbs, which removed him from the pedestal of intellectualism he had set himself
even though Huxley's respondent speech, from reputable accounts, was nothing spectacular,
he goes down in history as "winning the day," for with a stoic rebuttal
of Wilberforce's points and a simple rejoinder, it was his manner in making the
Bishop realize his faux pas, more than a Hollywood music-swell and crowd-goes-wild
scene, that launched Huxley into history. The power of his closing statement is
Legend, not merely for its adroitness, but more so because it hammered home the
fact that his opponent had forgotten to behave like a gentleman! And it echoes
judiciously the Evolutionist's stance to this day:
the numerous variants of the tale, we cautiously paraphrase Huxley's alleged reply,
"I would rather have for my grandfather an honest ape low in the scale of
being, than a man of exalted intellect and high attainments who used his power
to pervert the truth."
we machete through the tangle of Bush and Creationist obfuscation (men of high
attainments who have used their power to pervert truth and impede higher learning),
as we brace the yoke of Ignorance and stumble through the minefield of Irrationality,
we marvel at the fact that 150 years after Huxley made his portentous remark,
it retains the caustic bite of razor-wire on flesh - for its unequivocal intelligent
Added: Oct 2005