things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity - and I'm not sure about
the universe." - Albert Einstein.
first time I heard the words "intelligent design," I thought it was
a euphemism - however misapplied - for Evolution.
it has nothing to do with Evolution. And it has nothing to do with intelligence.
Design" is merely a re-rendering of the term "Creationism" to keep
apace with the changing aspect of public sophistication. It minutely augments
the "creationist" stance in specifying that not only was the universe
created by divine fiat, its complexity implies an Intelligent Designer (an adherent
to the cardinal rule of "no primary colors next to pastels"?) and is
the latest attempt at diminishing the fanatical "religious" overtones
intrinsic in the word "creationism."
horror is that the New Marketing Paradigm seems to be working
(stop that laughing in back!), whose Education Board officially entered the Twilight
Zone in 2004 when they granted credence to Intelligent Design by arguing its validity
alongside Evolutionary theory, has ambiguously amended their Curricular Standards
for Science Education (revised: Nov 8, 2005) to include a clause which "neither
mandates nor prohibits teaching about this scientific disagreement." In essence,
Kansas is redesigning unintelligence. (Firstly, I.D. is not "scientific"
- it is pseudo-science. Secondly, it is not a "disagreement" - it is
sociopolitical leverage on a monumentally irresponsible scale.)
incredible as it may sound, our children may actually be "taught" that
we are not only generated via sexual pairing of gametes (with attendant biological
proof, from decades of scientific research), but that humans can also be brought
forth from dust (proof being a verse in a book authored by an invisible guy who
created humans as nudists, until they disobeyed him!).
you, Kansas. Thank you so bloody much.
in Pennsylvania, Creationists vying to retain their seats on the Dover School
Board were defeated by a narrow margin, by candidates from Citizens Actively
Reviewing Educational Strategies (CARES), who advocate keeping Intelligent Design
out of the classroom. William Buckingham, who previously headed the Dover
board and initiated the I.D. furor in late 2004 with his self-admitted "deer
in the headlights" interview (opining that biblical creationism should be
taught alongside Evolution), is very rightfully being attacked by lawyer Eric
Rothschild for perjuring himself in claiming that religious agenda was not his
motivating factor, and is very wrongfully being allowed to recant and backpedal
and politically weasel his way out of accountability.
this was a victory for intellectualism, we must nonetheless question, mouths agape
like Buckingham's headlighted deer: a narrow margin?!
Jesus freaks are winning
not because they have gained a few seats in various
states, and not because they seemingly oust Evolution's primacy, but because their
supernatural and unverifiable idiom has been granted legitimacy at all. Can there
ever be intelligent debate between a discipline which exalts a dynamic process
of postulation, experiment, discovery and self-correction (the Scientific Method
in a nutshell), and a close-minded faction who petulantly claims a proprietary
stance simply because their invisible leader in the sky says so?
they transparently maintain their position is not predicated on religion, Intelligent
Designists must have squirmed in their penitent agony booths when religious demagogue
and paragon of ignorance Pat Robertson artlessly outed them in a faux pas broadcast, following the Dover School Board election, prophesying doom for Dover
for "voting God out of their city." His harbingering must have some
element of truth, as his theories on "feminism creating baby-killers, witches
and lesbians" is all too apparent in our baby-killing, black-magicked, lesbianic
no one's fooling anyone. In the 1600s, for their scientific publications, Galileo
was forced to recant under threat of death and Giordano Bruno was burned at the
stake - by the Catholic Church! It has always been Advancing Science versus
Stagnating Religion. This particular "Evolution versus Creation" wound
has been suppurating since Charles Darwin published The Origin of Species in 1859 - the touchstone for Evolutionary precepts - with its own watershed moments:
1860's Thomas Huxley defending Darwin against the wrath of Bishop Wilberforce
at the British Association for the Advancement of Science; to 1925's Scopes "Monkey"
Trial, where agnostic Clarence Darrow defended John Scopes against three-time
Presidential candidate, fundamentalist William Jennings Bryan; to what seemed
to be the res judicata of the debate in 1987, when the Supreme Court voided
the last remaining Louisiana Creationist statute, calling it "a sham designed
to make public schools espouse religion, in violation of America's separation
of church and state". Thus do we discern the snide rationale behind removing
"religion" from the New Terminology - armed now with "Intelligent
Design", the Bullshit-Artists Formerly Known As Creationists get another
stab in the dark at undermining intelligence.
this time, they come at intellectualism with the unexpected alliance of a stuttering
imbecile at their helm - who happens to be the "Leader of the Free World."
President George W. Bush, in his now customary quasi-conscious state of constant
befuddlement (who probably believes "separation of church and state"
means that his office and chapel should be in two different buildings), opined
last year that Intelligent Design should be taught in schools, thereby giving
the green light to the incomparably misnomered "Religious Right" (spearheaded
by Fundamentalist Christians, the bedrock of I.D. advocates) to blight the school
systems in dozens of U.S. states by rallying behind his Neanderthal suggestion.
those mightier-than-thou Fundamentalists fail to perceive the irony in the C-student
Bush espousing on "education" and "exposing people to different
ideas," whilst - doubly ironic - his lip service is belied by his own administration's
cutbacks on education funding! (In Bush parlance, No Child Left Behind means More
Morons On The Streets).
other irony which these New Inquisitionists seem to miss is that in lobbying for
ostensibly more education, in a system which is so understaffed and insufficiently
funded that it is currently pimping children into the American population with
already-questionable education levels, the groundless Intelligent Design agenda
will actually serve to make children less educated. Because, unlike Scientific
Method - which Creationists doggedly refuse to apprehend - Intelligent Design
propounds specious rationale (disguised in the very vernacular which it disparages
- Science) and serves to discombobulate existent scientifically-sound facts and
most vocal I.D. proponents misunderstand the very concept they rail against: "You
can't just tell children that they come from monkeys," laments Randy Thomasson,
President of Campaign for Children and Families, California, with Frozen Deer
Buckingham echoing those exact words - yet Evolutionary theory does not teach
that "Homo sapiens evolved from apes," but from an "ape-like"
creature, a markedly different animal from the feces-flinging Pan troglodytes
abounding in our modern zoos. And these same uninformed Pan troglodytes,
with faux-prestigious titles of zero worth (Judy Smith, Kansas Director of Concerned
Women -!) cite conceptual idiocies against Evolution, which mean absolutely nothing,
but find their way into the international presses: "[Intelligent Design]
allows for academic freedom
instead of dogma in science" - yet academic
freedom would ideally be the Scientific Method, funded as flagrantly as the militia;
and there is no "dogma" in science, Our Lady Of Concern! Any wonder
that the term "Intelligent Design" has found such a bedrock of support,
as its "intelligent" nomenclature implies it is indeed sorely needed
- by the selfsame people who are subscribing to its precepts!
it is a symptom of the low standard of education which has inspired the
I.D. debate at all. Would a truly educated society spawn such arrogantly-uninformed
zealots? With the lack of a prescribed "Method" - and the abject refusal
to establish one with which to qualify their outrageous dogma - Intelligent Designists
advocate an aesthetic predicated on vacant air and unfulfilled promises, circular
reasoning and specious mathematics. And it will all come crashing down when somebody
sails off the edge of the flat earth
took Europe millennia to stumble into the cauldron of superstition and ignorance
that were The Dark Ages; it's only taken America a scant two centuries.
boning up on your Chinese.
cultures which are at this moment laughing their butts off at America's elevation
of pseudo-science to the level of world-girdling import, are well aware that they
are essentially more "advanced" than America - technologically, culturally,
educationally, financially and spiritually. Randolph T. Holhut, American
Correspondent, reports that India's education system turns out more than 40,000
computer science graduates each year, and enrollments are rising - while U.S.
science programs falter; and each year China turns out five times more engineers
than the United States. (Try doing that "It's Fried Rice, you plick!"
gag in ten years - you'll be Jeet Kune Do'd faster than Mel Gibson in Lethal
Weapon 4.) America's ultimate decline will not be through its lack of weapons,
but its lack of intelligence, which will be far more destructive than all the
"nookuler" power that George W. Bush believes is his trump card.
will be not be a hostile takeover, nor will there be any casualties of war; the
sensible cultures of the earth will merely osmose under America's skin, effecting
a renaissance of true free thinking, gradually over-running the vestiges
of America's criminally political past, all bloodied money, prostituted oil and
laughably fragile civil liberties
It won't be a takeover designed on speed
of attack or killing power. It won't be designed on nuclear strikes or fuel embargos.
It won't be designed on infantry movements or covert operations:
takeover will be one of truly Intelligent Design.