Part I - The Stink of Bush Part V - When All News is No News
Part II - The Dick That Choked Amerika Part VI - Taking Issue With The Issues
Part III – The Presidential Race to Ruin Part VII - Song of The Prophet
Part IV - Democracy Inaction Part VIII - Constitution Ablution (in the works)

Part V
When All News is No News.

by Jon Dunmore © 3 Oct 2007.

Poffy The Cucumber was scheduled to attend this installment of The Freedom Treatise, but his participation has been moved to the next segment, as these snippets of un-newsworthy news got in the way.

From “Just The Facts” to “Nothing But Lies.”

The craven lies continue.

In a never-ending purple haze insanitarium.

It used to be I’d want to kick over the television every time George W. Bush would rear his oblong head, but now I can hardly watch any tv news program without tying my feet to those little stubs that pass for legs on my lounge suite.

What infuriates is that these “news” programs gasbag and red-face and mass-debate…over deflections, wraiths, sideshows, distractions. While avoiding the real issues as zealously as George W. Bush avoided military service.

The “Mainstream Media” beat their sticks to the Who, What, Where, When and How – but never get to the Why. Or circumvent it on purpose. Proving that the highest bidders still own the lowest liars.

A political junkie friend pooh-poohed the notion of the “mainstream media” (MSM) being regarded as a coordinated organization in collusion with the corps and felons grinding the gears of government. But though the MSM may not consciously be in collusion with the powermongers running the country (excepting notable colluders and transparent brown-nosers FOX News, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, et al), their insipid reportage palpably illustrates their FEAR of what the powermongers might do to them were they to try stealing home with the Why. 

Exhibit A:
The Calmer Osama

Aug ’07: A news anchor teeters on the brink of orgasm as she introduces the ratings-bonanza Osama Video, the title of the story splayed along the bottom of the screen: “Osama’s Hate-Filled Message.”


This is not even about avoiding the Why – it is just plain Wrongful Reporting. Arriving just in time for Amerikan Osama Month (i.e. September), the title of the piece simply appeases the perception of the programmed people who fell for the War on Terror.

But were one to actually LISTEN to Osama bin Laden’s message, it may strike a different type of terror in one’s breast: “…Bush talks about his working with al-Maliki and his government to spread freedom in Iraq but he in fact is working with the leaders of one sect against another sect…

“…after several years of the tragedies of this war, the vast majority of you want it stopped. Thus, you elected the Democratic Party for this purpose, but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning...

“…the administration of the generals - didn't have as its main concern the serving of humanity, but rather, was interested in bringing about new massacres. Yet in spite of that, you permitted Bush to complete his first term, and stranger still, chose him for a second term, which gave him a clear mandate from you - with your full knowledge and consent- to continue to murder our people in Iraq and Afghanistan…

“This war was entirely unnecessary, as testified to by your own reports.”

That’s enough Truth for one video, Osama. You’re only getting Amerika in more trouble by doing that – you know as well as we do that the Bush Gestapo WON’T STAND for the Truth any more than you could stand for someone worshipping a different imaginary deity than yours.

But where’s the hate? Except – understandably - towards the Bush Gestapo.

Bin Laden actually makes more sense than most of the presidential candidates from both parties (except Ron Paul – but that’s another tale) and in this befuddled presidential race to ruin, where three “creationists” can garner enough public approbation to actually contend, as can a waffling actor who only entered the race after the horses left the gate (to avoid that bane of livestock, foot-in-mouth disease), I’d hazard a guess that Osama – with his severe religious ethos that is exactly as asinine as Huckabee’s, Tancredo’s and Brownback’s – would probably poll as high as lazy Fred Thompson on any day of the muslim year, given the same amount of slanted press support. (That’s if the media actually reported the correct results - but that’s another tale too.)

“Hate-filled message” – Osama should sue those profiling, libelous, defamatory savages who call themselves “reporters." But the Mainstream Media insulates itself from such indictments and accountability precisely by being so amorphous, corporate and ubiquitous.

Read Bin Laden’s full transcript here – but watch out chillun, for dat “hate” to come a-creepin’ and a-sneakin’ up yo spine…

Fran Townsend, Homeland Security advisor, refers to the Osama video with a quote that can be applied to any country currently hemorrhaging intelligence - Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran or Amerika: “They’re trying to use the media as a way to terrorize us.”

Exhibit B:
Freedom to Stultify

Sep ‘07: Dan Abrams (MSNBC anchor) criticizes Columbia University for hosting Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as a speaker, taking umbrage at them allowing him “a platform to show how much of a measured statesman he is.”

Firstly, shouldn’t this be the goal of all civilized nations: humanizing and trying to comprehend their supposed “enemies” in order to forge peaceful international relations? (Not that Lee Bollinger, Columbia President, had that in mind when snaking his defamatory introduction of Ahmadinejad; instead covering his horse’s ass from detractors who would regard his hosting of Ahmadinejad with the same amount of chagrin as Abrams.) Secondly, shouldn’t Abrams - and others who vilified Ahmadinejad’s U.S. speaking tour - have enough confidence in their vaunted “democratic” society and the intelligence of their Amerikan populace to allow audiences to make up their own minds on Ahmadinejad’s veracity or stupidity? And isn’t it “tyranny” when you stultify free speech because you don’t agree with it? – Exactly what presidential candidate Duncan Hunter did when he threatened cutting funding to Columbia for hosting the Iranian leader.

Amerika: Land of the Free (only if you agree with me), Home of the Brave (if giving up your liberties for the sake of false freedom is considered “brave”).

Pat Buchanan rightfully counter-accused Abrams of exacerbating his own umbrage by airing the speech on MSNBC, pointing out that Columbia’s live audience numbered in the two-hundred range, whilst MSNBC reached an audience of two-million.

And besides, if Ahmadinejad proved such a “measured statesman,” why criticize him? It would only bode Amerika well to deal with an intelligent politician, rather than an ignorant cave-dweller who doesn’t understand English with nuclear weapons at his fingertips (to wit: George W. Bush).

MSNBC’s David Shuster remarks: “Almost everything that Ahmadinejad spoke about in his lecture tour was divorced from reality.” So the Iranian president is exactly like the Amerikan one.

Exhibit C:
The Hypocrites Running the Asylum.

Sep ’07: When “protestors for democracy” against a military regime are cut down in Myanmar, hypocrite Bush issues a statement that Amerika supports pro-democracy rallies, while in his own country, pro-democracy rallies are stultified to the point where they are actively precluded from his peripheral vision, the Amerikan Gestapo herding protestors out of line-of-sight of the television news media and the selectively-blind president himself. There are Secret Service Instruction Manuals specifically written for this express purpose.

But CNN reports Bush’s patently-false statement without the blink of an ironic eye.

How DARE this fascist dictator intimate he has the slightest empathy towards “pro-democracy” when he himself has signed the Military Commissions Act (which promotes the exact type of police state currently crippling Myanmar)? As Amerika’s blank-headed news programs droolingly replay images of Myanmar military caning and kicking civilians, one wonders which of his women’s panties George W. is wearing as he sits in the dark watching the police brutality action with his cock in his hand.

Exhibit D:
Toying with Terror.

Sep ’07: Children’s electronic toys have now come under the glazed, lazy scrutiny of Airport Security, as the latest reason to apply the word “terrorist” to news reports. CNN: “Airport authorities say terrorists (cha-ching!) could use the toys to trigger explosive devices.” The solution? Put your electronic toys in stored luggage rather than carry-on luggage. Oh, that completely negates the terrorist (cha-ching!) threat. It’s not like a terrorist (cha-ching!) could have a detonator disguised as a calculator and still explode the toy in the luggage hold – no way: the apes who load the bags have screened each piece meticulously through their age-old method of hurling it headlong into the luggage bay.

Is everyone an IDIOT? Both messengers and listeners alike, to give credence to this profound ass-woller.

Exhibit E:
General Distraction.

Sep ’07: While General Petraeus (decorated Bushie-tushie and known advocate of the bowl haircut), monotonally waxing as clinical as an Asimov robot, delivers a rap that only proves his lapdog status with the Bush admin (which was written by Bush’s staff anyway – otherwise, why would Petraeus proffer that he “wrote it himself”? - like denying a crime you were not accused of committing), the mainstream media nominally hiccups over the patent falsehoods and diversionary nature of the Petraeus Report itself, then focuses all its attention on the full page newspaper ad placed by political group MoveOn.org in response to Petraeus’ song-and-dance of graphs and laughable “progress” reports, veritably stroking themselves every time they wantonly repeat the ad’s tagline on air, “General Petraeus or General Betray Us?” For the amount of reported outrage over the supposed treasonous nature of the ad, you would think that firstly the media would refrain from blaring MoveOn’s indicting tagline at every lascivious opportunity and secondly, that they would actually FOCUS ON HIS REPORT to glean evidence on whether or not Petraeus has betrayed us.

No, instead of reporting something pertinent, rave unto the ad blogtastic.

Which the Bush admin loves, of course, for every minute spent arguing over the ad’s merit or disrepute diverts attention from the REAL issue of the Report saying nothing we didn’t know already: that Bush will continue to murder both Americans and Middle Easterners until the end of his term, while citing the Report (written by his own staff, mind you) to corroborate his immortally flawed, mendacious policies.

Eli Pariser of MoveOn: “Every day, our brave men and women are dying in a bloody civil war this Senate has done nothing to stop. Yesterday, they couldn't even pass a bill to give soldiers adequate leave with their families before redeploying. But they're spending time cracking down on a newspaper ad?...
“And it has one purpose: to intimidate all of us. To send a message that anyone who speaks unpleasant truths about this war will pay. To make everyone - especially politicians - think twice before they accuse the administration of lying.”

Exhibits Dork through Dweeb:

The Minnesota I-35W bridge falls down and for two full weeks Anderson Cooper 360 covers the same re-tooled footage of this disaster with no one mentioning that hundreds of billions in foreign aid to Middle Eastern enemies in the bogus War On Terror could have gone toward American infrastructure.

A lip-synching, washed-up, trailer-trash slut, with drug and drink addictions losing custody of her kids to a vagrant layabout ex-husband makes the top news headline on a program as reputable as Keith Olbermann’s Countdown - two days in a row. While the androgyne horse’s ass who posted a YouTube video crying “Leave Britney alone!” lands a television development deal. The jejune timbre of the mainstream media could never be more pronounced.

The Utah Crandall Canyon mine collapses and for two full weeks, CNN give us aerial views of the same footage and the same story of digging air holes, with little attention paid to the callous swine responsible for getting miners killed by neglecting safety precautions, Mine Safety and Health Administration director Richard Stickler (who should have gone to jail for his crimes of inaction), a man appointed by George W. Bush against the wishes and better judgment of politicians and mining officers alike.

Aug ’07: The headlines of all the major papers and internet media conglomerates read: “Success, not Victory” – the latest abject lie from the Bush administration on the Iraq conflict. Of course, “success” is whatever they feed us it is. It will be a construct of raving, twisted chicanery. It will mean exactly NOTHING, but will be touted as the resolution to a quagmire that was unnecessarily, illegally entered into, with no exit strategy, no moral compass, no grounded plan to speak of, and with no hope of actual success in any quarter, political or military. The Mainstream Media will televise the president making his unintelligible proclamation of “success not victory” on a battleship somewhere, with a prominent banner with a dumb slogan.

Mainstream Media relishes reporting that Fred Thompson is a soporific, uninformed hack who doesn’t inspire anyone (on the Jena 6: "I don't know anything about it"; on Terry Schiavo: "That's going back in history. I don't remember the details of it"; on lethal injections in his state: "I hadn't heard that. I didn't know") - but the key word is “report.” They REPORT his lackluster bid for the most influential post in the uncivilized world. Yet they zealously ignore the fiery inspiration Ron Paul conjures with every one of his appearances. When Paul wins straw polls, “the polling is rigged” or “Paul’s supporters are spamming,” but when Romney or Giuliani win, it’s fair as an albino child. Once again, these are not conspiracy theorists megaphoning their opinions to a coffeehouse - this is the MAINSTREAM MEDIA “reporting."

And though Al Gore is not even in the presidential race, the mainstream media continue to report his POLLING RESULTS as if he is, wasting time, energy and resources on someone who is clearly not remotely interested in campaigning while his numerous movie awards creak his mantelpiece, while actual contenders are given less coverage due to their lower profiles. Forbes.com provides its excuse: “We are listing him in our 2008 presidential candidate database because he has never strictly ruled out the possibility that he would enter the race.” Hey – I haven’t ruled out a presidential bid either! List ME, knuckleheads! And how about the janitor? And what about Scarecrow’s brain?

After Alberto Gonzales, known liar and ersatz Attorney General, resigned via a telephonic announcement to his Fuhrer Bush on a Friday night, when questioned by an aide on Saturday on how to respond to the press regarding resignation rumors, Gonzales told the aide to “deny the reports” and waited until Monday (Aug 27, '07) to “officially” spread the Good News like an apostle. And the media reports this act of lying without once calling it a lie! And then Bush calls Gonzo “A man of integrity, decency and principle” – not two days after his resignation lie compounded on top of his attorney-firing lies and illegal-surveillance lies.


The paradox is, of course, if the “mainstream media” is not reporting judiciously, how does any honesty slip through the electrified mesh at all?

Well, technology has enabled us to hear around the world. Other countries are far more frank about the Why: “The fact is that the precise nature of what’s happening on the ground in Iraq is less important [to Bush] than the way the American public perceives it and the way American politicians will vote about it.”
- BBC News reporter.

And what is “mainstream” anyway, but the media which reflects majority consensus? And majority consensus has undergone a sea change in the wake of Republican felonies, lies and homosexual busts. Battering down the delusional reportage and political deflection come stormbringers Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO; Maher often referring to Bush as a retard), Countdown with Keith Olbermann (MSNBC; Olbermann, so lucid, so poetic in his denunciations, one of the few television commentators, like Maher, to call “Mr. Bush” a liar openly on air), The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Comedy Central; come a long way since referring to itself as “fake news,” and its C-List guests with Craig Kilborn back in the nineties), Lou Dobbs Tonight (CNN; Lou’s outraged, way-off-script tirades, sprinkled with the word “idiots” when referring to politicians)… ushering in the new wave of “mainstream” – programs which do not cower like lapdogs under the rolled-up newspaper of the corporate networks; programs unafraid to tackle the Why and hold it up to public scrutiny.

And as Alvin Toffler portended, this Information Age has slammed us with its Future Shock – no matter the stultification, there is now so much NON-mainstream media that what was once “fringe” is now so promulgated via the internet that it might as well be “mainstream.” The internet has moved the mountain to Mohammed; the knowledge of a planet at our fingertips.

For some reason, the last words of Dave Bowman through HAL-9000 (from 2010: Odyssey Two) come to mind when defining our species’ utilization of this great tool: "ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS…USE THEM TOGETHER. USE THEM IN PEACE."

If only the Mainstream Media would report something so profound.

Rotsa Ruck.


NEXT: Poffy The Cucumber joins The Dunmore as a Special Investigative Consultant to take a bent-backwards look at the issues that the government is whitewashing over the Amerikan people whom it is obvious they have the utmost contempt for. Why do you think they palliate you with gay marriage and fake immigration concerns instead of opening the vote to REAL issues, like scrutinizing Amerikan foreign policy, or voting on whether to retain the Federal Reserve, or where to channel monies from the sale of weapons to enemy combatants? Don’t miss Part VI (unless there’s something good on WoobieTube).

next > Part VI - Taking Issue with The Issues
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Top of Page

OSAMA BIN LADEN The Dunmore Rants
Osama bin Laden

Theocrat Diplomat

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

unreality check

GEORGE W BUSH The Dunmore Rants
George W. Bush

General David Petraeus

HAS betrayed us

Eli Pariser

MoveOn.org Mover

FRED THOMPSON The Dunmore Rants
Fred Thompson

Right Said Fred

by Vincent Bugliosi

by Jon Dunmore

Presidential Candidate 2008

The State of the Union Address 2007

Desperately Delusional 08

Poffy The Cucumber visits Ground Zero.

How the Rednecks are one step ahead of us.

by Poffy The Cucumber

America: Freedom to Fascism
An Inconvenient Truth
Fahrenheit 9-11
Flight 93
Lions for Lambs
The US vs John Lennon
United 93
V For Vendetta
World Trade Center

Added: 2007,
Oct 3

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