Part I - The Stink of Bush Part V - When All News is No News
Part II - The Dick That Choked Amerika Part VI - Taking Issue With The Issues
Part III – The Presidential Race to Ruin Part VII - Song of The Prophet
Part IV - Democracy Inaction Part VIII - Constitution Ablution (in the works)

Part II
The Dick That Choked Amerika.

by Jon Dunmore © 14 Aug 2007.

Larry King Jive

July 31, 2007 – Dick Cheney Interview on Larry King Live.

The vice president sat hunched over like one of those creepy old perverts on the bus who might just get his cock out; skeleton buckling under the weight of the lies he lives; evil slit of a mouth curled in a sneer of psychopathological derision, his every utterance a condescending insult to the American people whom he supposedly serves…

Larry King, mummified elocutionist and card-carrying suspender-monger, promised “tough questions” for Dick Cheney - we then watched gape-mouthed as he fed lines to the vampire veep during the answers to the “tough questions,” like a lapdog who was promised no rolled-up newspaper would bruise his skull were he to roll over and play dead.

Tough like Erik Estrada.

A revealing anecdote is related by Stephen F. Hayes in his biography, Cheney (2007): The Secret Service was teaching Cheney evasive driving executing a J-turn. “Cheney, who had not driven a car in about two years, jammed the Chevy Camaro into reverse, hit the accelerator until he was going about 40, then slammed on the brakes in order to spin the car a full 180 degrees…a camera mounted on the windshield recorded Cheney’s face as expressionless throughout… It was as if he was taking a Sunday drive.”

What might have been a lesson in McQueen Driving Cool is placed in the context of this automaton driving the country into the toilet with his emotionless mien.

His posture spoke volumes about his duplicity and subterfuge, as he “refined lies until they resembled truth” (script, Kate & Leopold).

Asked if it was HE who sent his chollo, Gonzales (the “I don’t recall” king) and Andy Card on a midnight raid to Ashcroft’s hospital bedside to illegally certify Bush’s wiretapping program, Cheney’s response could not have been more egregious: “I don’t recall.” King pushes him – softly - like a baby’s buttocks: Surely that’s something which anyone would recall? More deflection, which - in the Real World - admits Cheney’s guilt. But King’s buttocksian nerve has frayed by then…

The Nefarious Neo-Con Noodler

King quotes Walter Mondale accusing Cheney of “total aversion to the notion of accountability”; Cheney’s rejoinder: “Walter obviously doesn’t know or understand, or chooses not to know how, in fact, I’ve operated” (au contraire, mon ennemi - Mondale’s j’accuse illustrates he knows EXACTLY how you operate).

Like VP, like staff. Subpoenas - like the constitution - are just “pieces of paper” to Bushies Harriet Miers (former White House Counsel and nappy-headed ho) and Karl Rove (Deputy Chief of Staff and renegade Doughy Guy), who have been advised by Cheney to simply ignore them. How dare the American people ask for accountability? But as Bush himself says (as rationale for his illegal wiretapping), “If you’ve got nothing to hide, you’ve got nothing to fear.” Great! So Miers and Rove: if you’ve got nothing to hide…

King calls Cheney on touting success in Iraq in May ‘05. Now if Cheney had been fed intel to that effect, his optimistic statement could have been excused as the military’s mistake. But Cheney knew the truth back then, as he does now. And against all the evidence telling him Iraq was burbling down the sewer, Cheney LIED on air that “the insurgency is in its last throes.” So even though he now apologized for his then-optimism, by inferring that his previous statement was honest, he exacerbates his initial lies.

But Cheney knew about Iraq’s formidable futility long before 2005. In April 1994, while the scum was ex-Defense Secretary, shortly after George H.W. Bush was criticized for leaving Saddam in power after running his Iraqi forces out of Kuwait, Cheney gave a CNN interview (which is now circulating on the great equalizer – YouTube), as to why it was a BAD IDEA to follow Saddam back into Iraq. He pointed out that if Saddam’s regime was toppled there would be nothing to replace it; that Iraq would be fragmented by untold civil disturbance; it was not worth the loss of American lives; it would be “a quagmire”… Cheney of 1994 was the exact opposite, the mirror image, the anti-thesis to the Cheney of 2003. The only way we can be sure these are not two different people is that exact same pasty-pink bald pate reflecting studio kliegs, as even then, his hunched manner told us more about his mendacity than all the slanted facts his craven mouth belched.

Amerika has been Double-Dicked.

Even though his 1994 recalcitrance on pursuing war would have been for selfish political agenda, his office, when asked for comment on the flip-flop, did not even trot out the trope, “9/11 Changed Everything,” simply stating, “He was not vice president then. No comment” - like being vice president is all the excuse you need to be a fascist murderer.

How easy would it be for Amerika to nuke the defenseless Middle East if this was a legitimate “war”? Why are American citizens so worried about the safety of Iraqi civilians if this truly is a “War with Iraq”? Why are Americans fearful that “Iraqis will start killing each other” if Amerika leaves? – isn’t that the POINT in a war? Attrition ‘til conquered?

But Amerika is not at war with “countries” any more than it is at war with “ideologies.” As in every Lord of the Rings-type conquest scenario, the conquering nation doesn’t want to blight the land totally, but to take over where the previous robber barons left off, making that country’s plebians/serfs/elfin folk pay THEM instead of the previous ruler. Amerika (more exactly, the men behind the oil pipelines and weapon-selling and trillion-dollar loans) doesn’t want to nation-build for Iraq’s sovereignty, but for Amerikan domination. How feverish would these entanglements with the Middle East be if their prime export was nuts and berries?

Rather than poking the finger into Cheney’s chest (hopefully disorienting the pacemaker placed there by doctors complicit in the deaths of Iraqi children for allowing this fiend to live), Mistress Larry moves onto another grand Bush-Cheney Lie and allows Dick to extemporize piously. King asks: “In that same interview, you said the Iraqis were well on their way to defending themselves. Well, why aren’t we gone?” Dick’s smug reply: “Because the job’s not done yet, Larry.”

Winning the War on Terror = Losing the Fight for Truth

Bush says, “We’re winning” - then refuses to leave. If too many initiatives are successful, there is no excuse to stay. So he can’t report winning too much. Only if he’s LOSING does he need to Stay The Course.

So he can’t win – no matter what he says.

If “winning” is imminent, what are his exit strategies? Cheney called Hillary a terrorist for daring to question the existence of such strategies. (Shouldn’t there be a slander suit she can bring against him for - oh, I forget, the law doesn’t apply to carbuncles of Satan’s behind.) Of course, these paradoxes would be moot if Bush-Cheney just told the Truth – that it’s about control, not democracy. As long as they perpetuate lies, their decisions make zero sense: lies why Amerika INVADED, lies why Amerika is STAYING, lies how Amerika is DOING, and lies why Amerika will LEAVE, decimated, destroyed, bankrupt and pussy-whipped.

That lie will be “We won” – but you can’t win a war on “terror”; terror is a TACTIC; you’d more likely win a war on Silly Walks. The lie will reject “winning as we know it” - this ain’t WWII or even Viet Nam; winning in the manner of John Wayne-type Declared Victory must necessarily be replaced by something more insubstantial, congruent with the timbre of an undeclared war against an undefined enemy over indefinite war zones. The lie will be that re-assessment of what “winning” actually is. Like Bill Clinton asking what “having sex” actually meant, the re-imagined “victory” will be a displacement euphemism so big it will subsume the planet. It is a Lie in the making to save the face of sociopathic mass murderers the likes of which have not been seen since Torquemada, Adolph Hitler and the Grand Moff Tarkin obliterating Alderaan dressed as an old lady who looks like Peter Cushing.

Running With The Devil

There’s an added twist to the duplicity. I’ll speak to you like Bush speaks to us; make it REAL SIMPLE: Sunnis and Shiites - civil war in Iraq. American taxpayers funded Shiite militias “for democracy.” Bush-Cheney selling 20 billion dollars of weapons to Saudi Arabia, who support Sunnis. I’ll repeat that: Amerika funded Shiites; now they’re selling weapons to Sunnis – the other side - all the while complaining that there’s a war in Iraq! Over 9/11. And WMD. And Saddam. Only an imbecile would fail to see the lies any more – luckily for the Bush administration, that's 90% of the Amerikan people and the president himself (so he can claim plausible deniability).

They try to frighten us with fractured fairy tales of the Amerikan military pulling out of Iraq and the Iraqis subsequently killing themselves in a civil war.

You mean like they are now?

Oh no, Even Worse.

Like the Amerikan forces helping them kill each other by being on both sides of the conflict?

Yes, just like tha- I mean- heeey! No fair! You’re using LOGIC.

Next, you’ll want to use that thing all the dagnabbit kids are using: Common Sense…and from there it’s just an effete little skip to TRUTH. And we definitely can’t have that. Just look at the trouble you’ll cause:

TRUTH: Iraq not responsible for 9/11.


TRUTH: Saddam dead.

TRUTH: War continues. Amerikan money and resources on BOTH sides. More terrorists than ever. Doing Silly Walks all over Amerika’s patootie.

QUESTION: Who’s the fucken retard now, Cheney?

The Sunni insurgency suggested allying with Amerika years ago, but the Evil Emperor, George W. Bush and his Dick Lord, Darth Cheney – I mean, his Darth Lord, Dick Cheney - wanted to show the Taliban and al-Qaeda that not only could they abrogate the oath they took to uphold the Constitution and protect America, but that they could ALSO kill over 3,000 Americans for no reason - without having to fly planes into skyscrapers to do it.

“Because the job’s not done yet, Larry.”

source: About.com: Political humor

The “job” is securing power on their terms in both Iraq and Amerika.

In Iraq, they’re losing. In Amerika, they’re close.

The people of Amerika live in greater fear of their government than any other outside or internal threats. By exploiting the 9/11 tragedy to thumbscrew Amerika into submission, the Bush administration has in actuality LOST the War on Terror. Here’s why:

We were told Al Qaeda (which means “the base”) “hate us for our freedoms.” (Okay, we all admit that bullshit is bullshit – but that is the Official Litany and the government’s sticking to it.) So what did the government do? Passed The Patriot Act a month later, to infringe on all dem freedoms dat dem debbils hate us fo. Mebbe dey’ll hate us less if we got none more freedoms?

In the most outrageous duplicity of all – the Amerikan government told its people: if we DON’T give up our freedoms, “the Terrorists” win!

To win a “War on Terror” - don’t feel terrorized. There’s not much more to it, knee-jerk patriots and bumper-sticker bigots. MORE freedom is the answer, not more lip service, less trust. Though existing laws are fully adequate to prosecute any terrorists should they be apprehended, the Bush government “went after terrorists” by creating insane laws to stultify the liberties of their own American people. (Which should have tipped off the idiot populace that “going after terrorists” was only a smokescreen to disguise the breaching of Constitutional and inalienable rights. It didn’t – and we shake our heads in wonder at Paris and Britney and call them dumb!) Terrorist apprehension is a police matter, not a federal mandate. Going to war without declaration and without congressional approval is also illegal. Militarily targeting countries which “may be harboring terrorists” is not only the height of hubris, but also of stupidity and lawlessness. Besides, the terrorists who flew the planes into the buildings are already dead. (And Bush told the press corp of his noble war in Iraq which would “change the conditions that lured these 19 kids onto airplanes to come and kill our citizens” – without any of the eunuch reporters protesting that none of the 19 kids were from Iraq.) Their Islamic network could not have been more than a few hundred people, yet two whole COUNTRIES have been in Amerikan gunsights since 9/11.

Make that three countries.

As the public’s civil liberties were constantly breached, never to be reinstated, the government’s powers only grew, to the point where they now see no reason to comply with the letter of the law at all. By invoking “executive privilege” (which I believe covers prostitution, pedophilia, murder, treason and other felonies nowadays) and instructing Miers and Rove not to appear in court, the Bush administration invalidate Constitutional Law, knowing they cannot be prosecuted because they are pissing in the pockets of those selfsame courts. Cheney (self-admittedly neither in the executive nor the legislative branch of government, but in a vague middle ground called the Fascist Arm), tells Larry King, “Executive privilege shouldn’t be violated.” Unlike the Constitution.

But they don’t even need to break laws that they want to undermine any more: to pass Bush’s illegal wiretapping bill in Aug ‘07, the lazy Democrats (dying to go on vacation, rather than spend one more night looking at Rahm Emmanuel’s fake tan), instead of fighting it, made it legal by simply PASSING A LAW SAYING THAT IT IS. Quod erat demonstrandum.

(THIS JUST IN: Run, Rove, Run! – Like any rat scurrying a sinking ship, the “Last of the Texas Mafia,” Killer Karl, resigned his White House position in Aug ’07, obviously fleeing the mounting subpoena pressure, and probably forced to distance himself from his bent boss Bush. He can run, but he can't hide - the subpoena still stands. In the New York Times, Senator Leahy “suggested that Mr. Rove was resigning under Congressional pressure." In a puff of acrid smoke, smelling of doughy guy socks and devil's undies - he was gone.)

(Like rats…On Rove’s heels, White House Spokesman and filthy dogbreath liar, Tony Snow, tendered his resignation. Unlike most people with cancer, Mr. Complicit truly deserves to go out gargling his own vomit. Where can I buy front row tickets?)

The Bush administration no longer thinks it is above the law - by its actions, it is obvious it IS above the law. We are coming to the realization that We (of We The People fame) no longer matter.

Bush (puppeted by Cheney) and his cronies and cabinet have, in fact, WON the War on Terror – because they are the only instigators of the terror. Against their own lower classes. With their 20% base of corporatists, big oil, big pharm CEOs (their own – heh - al-Qaeda, if you will) untouched for the reciprocal blood money they provide…

Uh…hope I wasn’t outa line with that crack about “fucken retard”?...

Our only consolation is that – like Darth Vader – there are entities more powerful than our psychopathic dictators…when the Saudi King “summoned” Dick Cheney, he ran like a girl-child to grovel before gazillionaire King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud and spit-shine his pointy Aladdin shoes. And Abdullah told Dick exactly what he thought of the war in Iraq. And Dick swallowed it all like the high-priced whore that he is.

Money still talks louder than laws.

Full circle: from The Pet Goat to being pet goats of King Abdullah.

"I didn’t vote for him, but he’s my president, and I hope he does a good job.” – John Wayne, on Kennedy winning over Nixon.

“That we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” – Thomas Jefferson.

That's Our Dick.


NEXT: The contenders rear their talking heads. 10 Republicans and 8 Democrats; all but one republican deserve to be tied to a brick and dumped in New York Harbor.

next > Part III – The Presidential Race to Ruin
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

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Part 1

Dick's never wrong
Part 2
executive? Mondale
Part 3
Gonzales, Rove
Part 4
Iran, GTMO

Full transcript of Interview

Alberto Gonzales

midnight maniac

Harriet Miers

Supreme contempt

Karl Rove

Running rat

Larry King

not buying it

Szandor Blestman

Loves us for our freedoms

John Ashcroft

Patriot wacked

Tony Snow

dead man walking

King Abdullah

Dick's pimp

The Patriot Act
aka The Terrorist Handbook

...and why you should be afraid. Be very afraid.

by Vincent Bugliosi

by Jon Dunmore

Presidential Candidate 2008

The State of the Union Address 2007

Desperately Delusional 08

Poffy The Cucumber visits Ground Zero.

How the Rednecks are one step ahead of us.

by Poffy The Cucumber

America: Freedom to Fascism
An Inconvenient Truth
Fahrenheit 9-11
Flight 93
Lions for Lambs
The US vs John Lennon
United 93
V For Vendetta
World Trade Center

Added: 2007,
Aug 17

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